I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
