I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
