saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
