I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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