He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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