Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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