How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
