it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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