idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
