I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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