All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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