i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His hands were made for my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
