well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
