Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
