I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
