I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
