it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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