I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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