Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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