I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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