I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
