hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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