I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
smell my finger.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
