My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
