I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
