you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
