ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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