mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
