yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
