it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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