You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
