There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
