Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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