I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
