I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
