Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
