i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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