there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
