Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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