it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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