Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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