last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
only you would photoshop your dick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
