____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
