Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i barfeds in our rink
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
