They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to make a zoo with you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
