these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
