Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
