Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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