Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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