O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
