omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
