My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
